"Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered. What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day." - Phyllis Diller

"The one thing women don't want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband." - Joan Rivers

"Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas." - Kin Hubbard

"The most enduring traditions of the season are best enjoyed in the warm embrace of kith and kin. Thith tree is a thymbol of the the thspirit of the Griswold family Chrithmath. (Clark W. Griswold)" - Christmas Vacation