Funny Thanksgiving Quotes Translate
Our Thanksgiving quotes, funny and straightforward, hold no punches. Funny quotes for thanksgiving know that to stuff or not to stuff really means to Salmonella or not to Salmonella.
Funny Thanksgiving quotes know that to drink or not to drink actually means to spare the life of your mother-in-law...or not.
Humorous Thanksgiving quotes and sayings know that to eat or not to eat translates into to blow up like a stuffed fowl while the company is still there, or to wait until they leave to eat straight from the pie plate.
Funny Thanksgiving Quotes know your Joy, and Despair
Funny quotes, Thanksgiving specific, know that turkey isn't the only bird at your holiday table. Your stuffing will always be too salty for Aunt Ethel, too bland for Uncle Fred.
Your table setting will never be the one your mother would have chosen.
And the wine will never be strong enough to induce truly benevolent behavior by all.
But now, you can smile while you fish the onions out of your son's serving of green bean casserole, because you have funny Thanksgiving quotes in your apron pocket.
Funny Thanksgiving Quotes Recognize your Gripes
You've always maintained that bringing family together over a meal that requires a large carving knife is unwise, and that dark and white meat debates, or wishbone disputes, are not a good way to usher in the Christmas season.But nevertheless, you continue to celebrate The Bird and your thankfulness for it. Now, thanks to funny Thanksgiving quotes, you can do it all with a sense of humor.
After all, it's hard to soar with eagles unless you can find a way to relate to the turkeys.
Your Top Ten Funny Thanksgiving Quotes:
"Cooking Tip: Wrap turkey leftovers in aluminum foil and throw them out." - Nicole Hollander
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"Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often." - Johnny Carson
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"We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing." - George Carlin
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"What we're really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving?" - Erma Bombeck
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"You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out." - Jay Leno
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"Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence." - Erma Bombeck
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"I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land." - John Stewart
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"An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day." - Irv Kupcinet
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"It has been an unchallengeable American doctrine that cranberry sauce, a pink goo with overtones of sugared tomatoes, is a delectable necessity of the Thanksgiving board and that turkey is uneatable without it." - Alistair Cooke
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"May your stuffing be tasty May your turkey plump, May your potatoes and gravy Have nary a lump. May your yams be delicious And your pies take the prize, And may your Thanksgiving dinner Stay off your thighs!" - Anonymous
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