"I was born in London, and went to school in Scotland - I used to be dead tired when I got home at night." - Sir Norman Wisdom

"As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two." - Sir Norman Wisdom

"I can never tell a joke, I've always found it easier to just fall over." - Sir Norman Wisdom

"But no, I've just been very lucky. But I've worked hard, and the harder you work, the luckier you seem to get." - Sir Norman Wisdom

"Well if I was going to describe my audience, it's going to take longer than you'd ever expect, hundreds of years in fact, because there's many of them, all over the world." - Sir Norman Wisdom

"I was born in very sorry circumstances. So my parents felt very sorry." - Sir Norman Wisdom

"You see, I'm still big over here (in Albania). Not anywhere else, but over here. I don't know why I'm so popular here. They (Albanians) must be raving mad." - Sir Norman Wisdom

"I owe everything to the army." - Sir Norman Wisdom

"I've been extremely lucky having been in the army when I was a boy of fourteen." - Sir Norman Wisdom

"I had a great day filming Expresso, every minute was worth an hour." - Sir Norman Wisdom