Christmas Vacation Quotes, Fun and Famed
Christmas vacation quotes from the silver screen have long provided relevant and recognizable material for survival during the holiday season.
Without Christmas vacation movie quotes, mothers might be without persuading statements, fathers without heirloom paternal wisdom, children without rebuttals to all of the above.
Christmas Vacation Quotes: a Bit of Chevy Wisdom
Folks everywhere have gathered jewels of wisdom, in the form of Christmas vacation quotes, from Clark "Sparky" Griswold, Jr.:Christmas specialty shops and department stores have noted a marked increase, as much as 23 percent, in artificial tree sales.
Home improvement warehouses have increased their stock of Christmas lights by as much as three-hundred percent and have added electrical advice to sales protocols.
Morning news programs and newspaper headlines have included, every year since the release of the movie, consumer warnings about manic squirrels in fresh-cut trees.
And most notably, thanks to National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation quotes, families around the world have lowered their expectations of Butterballs, unemployed cousins, and Christmas bonuses.
Christmas Movie Quotes Restore Focus on Family
Just think about how many disasters have been averted by Christmas movie classics.Take A Christmas Story for example:
Our studies suggest that more than 64 children have been saved from shooting out their own eyes by Ralphie's mother's Red Rider BB Gun protest.
Over the past two decades, fire stations have reported a decline in kids' frozen pole licking.
Parents testify to a 12 percent drop in indiscriminate curse words from their children, and an 18 percent decline in the occurrence of yellow-eyed bully loitering.
But most notably...
Leg lamps have finally gotten the esthetic credit that they deserve.
Christmas Vacation Quotes for your Break
No matter the significance of Christmas vacation for you, you're sure to enjoy every Christmas vacation movie quote listed here.Celebrate those few extra pounds, the returns without receipts, the pine needles in the carpet, and the luxury of watching Christmas movie classics in your pajamas - in the middle of the afternoon.
Not familiar with any of the above mentioned movie references? Then we suggest leaving the pine needles in the carpet and letting your remote control do the walking.
Your Top Ten Christmas Vacation Quotes:
"Hey. If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here...with a big ribbon on his head! And I want to look him straight in the eye, and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is! Hallelujah! Holy shit...where's the Tylenol? (Clark W. Griswold)" - Christmas Vacation
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Rating: 5.0/5 (3 votes)
"The most enduring traditions of the season are best enjoyed in the warm embrace of kith and kin. Thith tree is a thymbol of the the thspirit of the Griswold family Chrithmath. (Clark W. Griswold)" - Christmas Vacation
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Rating: 5.0/5 (2 votes)
Also see: Funny Christmas Quotes
"LOTTA SAP in here. Looks great! Little full, Lotta sap!! (Clark W. Griswold)" - Christmas Vacation
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Rating: 4.5/5 (2 votes)
"(To Eddie) Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead? (Clark W. Griswold)" - Christmas Vacation
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Rating: 4.5/5 (2 votes)
"Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, kiss my ass. Kiss his ass. Kiss your ass. Happy Hanukkah. (Clark W. Griswold)" - Christmas Vacation
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Rating: 4.3/5 (4 votes)
"Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fucking Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse. (Clark W. Griswold)" - Christmas Vacation
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Rating: 4.2/5 (5 votes)
"Hurry up, Clark. I'm freezing my baguettes off. (Art)" - Christmas Vacation
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Rating: 4.0/5 (1 vote)
"I don't know what to say, except it's Christmas and we're all in misery. (Ellen Griswold)" - Christmas Vacation
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Rating: 3.7/5 (3 votes)
"He's cute ain't he? Only problem is, he's got a little bit a Mississippi leg hound in 'im. If the mood catches him right, he'll grab your leg and just go to town. You don't want him around if your wearing short pants, if you know what I mean. Word of warning though, if he does lay into ya, it's best to just let 'im finish. (Eddie)" - Christmas Vacation
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Rating: 3.3/5 (4 votes)
"Well I'm gonna park the cars and get check the luggage, and well, I'll be outside for the season. (Clark W. Griswold)" - Christmas Vacation
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Rating: 2.0/5 (1 vote)
More Famous Christmas Vacation Quotes
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